But I INTENDED to say…..
…. “I like you”.
Ok, but you didn’t say that — you said you “didn’t like me”
I know, but I intended to say, “I like you”.
How many times has someone said something to you only to see your reaction, then cover their tracks by telling you what they INTENDED to say?
Remember the toothpaste?
The word “Intended” is one of the most annoying words in the English language. Probably annoying in French, Swahili, and Urdu also.
It covers all sorts of goofs, mistakes, and silliness.
A week or so back I got stopped for speeding (first time ever). The policeman said I was doing 57kph. I didn’t argue, but I tried the get-out-of-jail card……… “Ah, but Officer, I only intended to be doing 40 kph”. It didn’t work. Nice try though don’t you think?
A while back I met a good friend of mine on the street in town. As we were chatting, a very attractive young lady came by. Ace boy said, “Hi there, I just got a call from heaven to say that an angel had fallen out, was it you?”
He re-aligned rapido as they in Spanish and said, “Oh no, I intended to say that heaven called to say it was rather attractive weather down there today.” The lady was not in a buying mood. He hastily left.
We all make mistakes in our everyday life whether in speech or deed.
Sometimes our intentions were good, and we realize our error, then change. Sometimes our actions were hasty, and we should have thought them through more. But sometimes we should have simply not said or done that — so we use the “intention excuse”. Some people do but it. Most of us don’t.
“Hi honey, I intended to be home right after work, but one of the guys had a birthday today so we went for a wee drink at 5.” The fact that it is now 11 pm seems irrelevant right about now.
As Napoleon once said, “Sacre bleu mes amis, I only intended to visit Russia on my vacation, not invade the place!!”
Or this one courtesy of History Collection.com
“In 1631 Royal Printers Robert Barker and Martin Lucas printed a new edition of the recently translated King James Version of the Bible. While composing the text in preparation for pressing the pages, at one rather critical point the printers omitted the word “not”. The result was several copies of the book appearing in the shops and churches of London with Exodus 20:14 reading “Thou shalt commit adultery”.”
The intention was clear, but how many folks preferred the way it was written?
“Honest your honor, I intended the Tower of Pisa to be straight!!”
Oh well, we can all use the word any time we feel the need. But if we use it to pull back an offensive remark, the opportunity to be nice has gone.
Ergo, I close by saying it is not my intention to upset you or offend you, but merely to give you a wee chuckle.
Then again sometimes I can be rather irksome — intentionally